WinterDelight

Everyone has someone they care about in life. Be it your parents, spouse, children, or friend. We should do almost anything to keep them from being hurt or getting in trouble. There are times when this intervention is not welcome, because they might feel like you are destroying their happiness. Your actions are misunderstood even though you do them out of love. Maybe it was your delivery and maybe the person is just in denial of the truth.

Lets start out with the hypothetical examples:

Example 1: Lets say you have a younger brother who starts hanging around the wrong crowd. This gang of thugs is no good and you know it, the community knows it, but your brother is looking for acceptance in all the wrong places. Lets say this gang of people is a cult of sorts and it hurts you deep down inside to know that he is getting in deeper and deeper. You have to confront him to help him and when you do, he pushes you away and accuses you of trying to hurt him. He thinks you hate him and do not care.

Example 2: How about a friend who is spending money faster than you think she should. You know this friend well and she is charging everything under the sun and you know she is not able to pay the bill. When she is shopping she is very happy and when she is not shopping she is very stressed about the credit card bills. This cycle drives her to spend more and more. You know you have to help her, but how? When you try to keep her from shopping, she gets very mad at you and gets very defensive. Why do you hate her?

Example 3: This is my geek example. Take Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars. Think about when he turns to the dark side of the force. Obi-Wan Kenobi is trying to help Anakin and thinks that Anakin has hope of changing his path back to the ways of the Jedi. Obi-Wan risks his own life to try to save him. Anakin hates Obi-Wan for what he is doing, even though Obi-Wan is acting in love for Anakin.

Example 4: This example is from the Bible. Matthew 18: 12-14: “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.”

Love can be perceived as hate:

The first three examples above can show how actions done in love can be mistaken for hate from the wrong prospective. The third example is a parable told by Jesus that shows His perfect love for us. As Christians this is a hard line to walk. On one hand we are to love all of God’s creation and on the other how do we do that without coming across as hypocrites? We know we are not perfect, but sometimes we act that way or might be mistaken as to act that way. Jesus gave us a command to share His good news with all the world. As Christians we have a focus on eternal life as being more important than pleasures in this short worldly life.

We cannot save anyone, only Jesus can. We have to find that balance of sharing and not judging. Here are a few tips on how we can share in love:

1. Make sure, as we share, we are doing it with love. Prayer and seeking God’s will is important to do this. Be accountable to other Christians about your actions.
2. Have a personal relationship with those we are wanting to share with. You do not need to talk about Jesus, but to listen to them. Allow them to share and walk with them. Again, you need to make sure you are accountable to another brother in Christ. You might not be called upon to directly share the plan of salvation in Jesus Christ.
3. Be open when someone is ready to seek God. Be ready with answers or be ready to help them find the answers together. Be open to guidance from the Holy Spirit.

The worst thing we can do is to beat someone over the head with a Bible and hope they find salvation during the beating. I think there is a place and a time for public preaching and sharing, but it should not be a personal attack on someone. Remember, it is the sin that we are to hate and the person whom we love. Let God, who wrote the plan of salvation, do the convicting as we are the instruments at His disposal. Maybe the measure of the depth of your love will be how long you will wait for God to answer your prayers in your friend’s life.